The bad news is About-dot-com hired some other unbelievably talented and highly experienced stay-at-home-mother to be the guide on their new stay-at-home-mother channel. (Did I tell you I applied for a job there?) The good news is the baseboards behind my desk have never been so free of dried coffee and footprints.
Upon discovering the absolutely no good, horrible, rotten rejection of my first attempt at freelancing in, oh, ten years, I steeled myself and set to work doing what every good freelancer must do when taking it on the chin. I called my mother to whine. I yelled at Todd and told him I wished God would strike him dumb so I didn’t have to listen to him anymore. (He found that greatly amusing. He responded by teaching the kids how to make unsympathetic faces when I throw temper tantrums.) Then, I filled a bucket with hot water and went out of my mind scrubbing walls, banisters, stairs, EVERYTHING in my office. I limited myself to fifteen minutes of obsessive cleaning but boy, it sure smells nice in here.
Enough with my childish behavior, though, back to About and their big mistake.
Despite my inclination toward logical, unemotional reactions and true humility, I can’t for the life of me figure out how anyone could have found someone more qualified than I am to guide stay-at-home-moms around the World Wide Web. Sure they have a stated policy of giving preference to published writers who’ve written on the subjects they’ll be guide for. And no, I’ve never published a parenting article of any kind ever but, come on! I have SEVEN children for crying out loud!
I’ve spent the last thirteen years *at home* being abused by the small, irrational creatures I’ve personally created. Besides, I have a wonderfully engaging writing style and a truly winning personality (if you discount my tendency to make old people hate me without even trying). Shouldn’t that qualify me for something other than a free lifetime supply of Zoloft?
You know I’m not bitter, (no, never, not me) but how much you wanna bet the person they hired has two-ish kids and quit her job six months ago? Then again, it will probably freak me out more if I check back in a few weeks and find they’ve hired someone with really good experience, credits and talent. I don’t like being all flippy so even though they’ve probably chosen someone perfect, I’m going to root for the first scenario so I can indulge my snark and maybe hang onto a bit of the self-confidence I started with. It will definitely be easier if I can look and think, “I can do that and I can do it better,” than “Wow. She’s good. How can I compete?”
Maybe I won’t look.
So, yeah, whatever. Moving on. This morning: my first rejection. This afternoon: work on my next horribly crushing defeat.
On the bright side, I got some pretty letterhead, envelopes and business cards yesterday. Todd printed everything for free so I have to use it up before I can go back to bed and curl up into the fetal position. At least the rejection letters will come in lovely, professional-looking SASEs.
Wait! You had three reams printed on purpose didn’t you, Todd?
Sly. Very sly.
To Shape and To Mold 